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Are you seeking validation from the wrong place?



In a world that often measures success and worth through external recognition, the concept of self-validation shines as a beacon of self-assurance and inner strength. Validation, in its simplest form, is the acknowledgment and affirmation of one's feelings, thoughts, and experiences. While external validation can provide a temporary boost, the true key to lasting confidence and contentment lies in mastering the art of self-validation. This article explores what self-validation entails, what it looks like in practice, and offers insights into how to cultivate this empowering practice.


Understanding Validation and Its Impact

Validation is a fundamental human need. We seek validation from our peers, family, partners, and society at large. This external validation often takes the form of praise, recognition, and approval. While these moments can provide a sense of validation, they can also leave us vulnerable to fluctuations in external circumstances, leading to self-doubt and a shaky self-esteem.

On the other hand, self-validation centers on recognising and accepting our own emotions, thoughts, and experiences without seeking external affirmation. It is an internal compass that enables us to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience. When we master the art of self-validation, we become less reliant on external sources for our sense of self-worth, leading to a more stable and fulfilling life.

What Self-Validation Looks Like

  1. Embracing Emotions: Self-validation involves acknowledging and embracing your emotions, even if they seem contradictory or challenging. Instead of dismissing or invalidating your feelings, you honor them by giving yourself permission to experience them. Emotions last 90 seconds sit with them allow them to be and notice if you start telling yourself stories beyond the initial emotion, stop the stories before they spiral, they are not reality. Focus on the now.

  2. Healthy Self-Talk: Practicing self-validation means adopting a compassionate and understanding inner dialogue. Instead of criticising yourself, you treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer to a close friend. Struggling through a road block in buisenss, break up, Family dispute, show compassion that things take time, allow yourself space to breathe and let things be.

  3. Setting Boundaries: Self-validation empowers you to establish and maintain healthy boundaries. You recognise your limits and communicate them assertively without fearing judgment or rejection. If you are tired after a long week at work, it's okay to cancel that Friday night drink or hectic weekend plan.

  4. Accepting Mistakes: Rather than dwelling on failures or mistakes, self-validation allows you to view them as opportunities for growth and learning. You understand that making errors is a natural part of the human experience. There are no mistakes in life just Lessons or Growth.

  5. Celebrating Achievements: Self-validation involves celebrating your achievements, no matter how small. You acknowledge your progress and acknowledge the effort you put into your endeavors.

How to Gain Self-Validation

  1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness cultivates self-awareness and helps you observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice encourages you to experience your emotions fully and acknowledge them without resistance.

  2. Challenge Negative Beliefs: Identify and challenge negative beliefs that undermine your self-worth. Replace self-criticism with self-compassion and remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments.

  3. Keep a Self-Validation Journal: Maintain a journal where you record moments of self-validation. Document instances where you acknowledged your feelings, set boundaries or handled challenges well. Reviewing these entries can reinforce your sense of self-worth.

  4. Seek Internal Fulfillment: Engage in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction, regardless of external validation. Focus on hobbies, interests, and personal goals that resonate with your authentic self, talk to your coach if you are struggling to find these.

  5. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who appreciate and validate your true self. Limit exposure to toxic relationships that undermine your self-esteem.

Self-validation is a transformative practice that enables you to embrace your inherent worth and lead a more fulfilled life. By recognis


ing your emotions, setting healthy boundaries, and celebrating your achievements, you can cultivate a deep sense of self-assurance that transcends external circumstances. As you embark on the journey of self-validation, remember that your worth is not determined by others; it emanates from within and is a constant source of strength and resilience.

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