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Writer's pictureCharlotte Fry

Living with ADHD: The Hidden Struggle



Living with ADHD can feel like carrying an invisible burden, one that others rarely see or understand. On the surface, you might appear organised enough, together enough, good enough. But for those who have ADHD, the challenge is internal, a constant and complex battle that is often difficult to articulate. ADHD isn’t just about distraction; it’s an intricate, frequently misunderstood condition that affects every part of life—from relationships to work, confidence, and self-worth.


The Persistent Sense That Something’s “Wrong”

One of the hardest parts of ADHD is the lingering feeling that something isn’t quite right, without knowing what exactly that is. Many with ADHD hear things like, “Why can’t you just focus?” or “You’ve got so much potential; just try harder!” These comments hit hard because they echo what people with ADHD often tell themselves. They may constantly feel out of sync or as though they’re lagging behind, unable to meet the high standards they set for themselves or that society expects.


Emotional Dysregulation and the Ongoing Struggle for Balance

ADHD isn’t only about attention challenges; it’s also about emotion. People with ADHD often experience emotions intensely, and this emotional dysregulation can feel like a constant rollercoaster. Small setbacks can feel overwhelming, and even minor criticism can cut deeply, creating a cycle of shame and self-doubt. This sensitivity makes handling stress, managing relationships, and maintaining self-confidence incredibly challenging, feeding the feeling that something fundamental isn’t working.


Job Pressures and the Battle Against Feeling “Not Good Enough”

In the workplace, ADHD can be particularly challenging. A project may begin with enthusiasm and fresh ideas, but staying focused and seeing it through to completion can be overwhelming. Deadlines, meetings, and performance expectations pile up, and if things start slipping, the internal criticism can be relentless. People with ADHD often feel they have to work twice as hard just to keep up, which creates a recurring sense of never fully meeting goals, further eroding confidence and self-worth.


Untapped Potential and Abandoned Projects

One of the most painful experiences for people with ADHD is the pattern of starting things with excitement, only to lose steam and abandon them partway through. Each abandoned project or unfinished task reinforces the belief that “I can’t follow through,” leading to a cycle of frustration and disappointment. Over time, this erodes self-esteem and creates a deep sense of inadequacy. Even when they know they have potential, people with ADHD can feel they’re always striving but never quite reaching their goals.


The Impact on Confidence and Self-Esteem

When emotional dysregulation, inconsistency, and the feeling of falling short all come together, the result is a significant blow to self-esteem. Many people with ADHD internalise these challenges, forming a core belief that they’re somehow “broken” or “not good enough.” This impacts all aspects of life, from personal relationships to career ambitions, making it difficult to recognise and appreciate their real strengths.


How ADHD Coaching Can Transform Lives

This is where ADHD coaching can make a powerful difference. Unlike traditional therapy, ADHD coaching is action-based, focusing on managing specific ADHD-related challenges. Through customised strategies, accountability, and consistent support, ADHD coaching helps clients understand their ADHD, leverage their strengths, and break free from limiting beliefs.

(Names have been changed for clients confidentiality)

Take John, for instance. When he came to me, he was feeling flat, defeated, and ready to give up. He’d tried therapy, self-help books, and “doing the work” but felt as though he’d hit a wall. Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t shake the feeling of being stuck. He knew he had more to offer but didn’t know how to unlock it.

Through our 12-week programme, we dug deep into understanding John’s ADHD and uncovered automatic beliefs and habits that had been holding him back for years. Fast forward to the end of those 12 weeks, and John’s life had transformed. His relationship with his wife was stronger—he’d learned to communicate in ways that brought them closer, deepening their bond. At work, he finally pursued a promotion he’d wanted for years, asked for a raise, and received full recognition from his managing director.

The key? Recognising the patterns, limiting beliefs, and unconscious behaviours that were quietly working against him. With a fresh perspective and practical tools, John’s life began to flourish. He gained financial freedom from his promotion, strengthened his home life, and, most importantly, developed a sustainable, ADHD-friendly mindset that empowered him to thrive. Today, he approaches life with confidence, clarity, and control.


Find Your Path to Success with ADHD

Living with ADHD doesn’t have to be a daily struggle. With the right support and guidance, you can learn to manage your unique challenges, unlock your strengths, and build a life that truly aligns with who you are. If John’s journey resonates with you, now might be the time to take that first step towards a life that’s not just manageable, but genuinely fulfilling.

Are you ready to understand your ADHD and reclaim your life? Contact me to discuss how ADHD coaching could be the game-changer you’ve been waiting for. Let’s work together to turn your potential into progress.



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